So... I ran into a Unity problem that I've never seen before.
In short, all of the sudden out of no where, Unity would not allow to me to work online. When I tried logging in, I got the message that appears in the title. When working off-line you lose the asset store and such. So, I took to the interwebs. This lead to much frustration because apparently my problem is not that uncommon. I tried many fixes that had been successful for others, all without luck. Then, when I was about to give up, I found an old Win 8 fix and thought "what the heck." I gave it a try and it worked even though I am on Win 10.
I leave this here just in case it might help someone else. It involves running 3 simple commands and restarting. It boggles me that it worked, but it did: