I did a lengthy post in this thread about the differences between a sim based experience and an game based experience.
You are correct in that nothing that takes place on a PC/console with a wheel or a joystick or mouse or gamepad input is a true sim. With golf games you have a system/control method to create a set of ball launch conditions, after that the goal should be to make it behave as much as possible like a real ball. It's almost impossible to do that as the physics is majorly complicated with a bunch of 'corner cases' where the physics sometimes breaks down, but if that is your aim on creating the software it's going to be a more sim like experience than if you have some other goal from the outset.
I agree with you, Mike.
Ultimately, any hopes for immersion are lost the moment you use a controller or click a mouse. There just isn't any way to capture the subtle imperfections in the golf swing or the results of the ball vs the earth.
The advantage your team has is you know golf (HB does not have anyone in their studio who knows it beyond a casual exposure) so things like a flop shot backing up stand out to your eyes where they just assume that's "legit". I wouldn't expect a $20-50 game to replicate the 50k I spent on my sim and anyone who does is a doofus.
I see people in the TGC community that somehow think playing without green grids is somehow "more sim" and closer to real life. I just caddied in the US Open a while back and can tell you we had a green book that easily has as much info as any golf video game green grid. Those folks are just fooling themselves. I also don't understand this goal of controlling scores, in a video game. As if it shouldn't be easier than real golf to sit in a chair with cheeto dust all over you playing "golf" 
As a good player irl nothing ruins a golf game for me more than seeing "illegitimate" results. It's not graphics, it's not sound or interface it's seeing the ball do something I know it wouldn't do. THAT is the battle for my enjoyment 